Often couples are deeply connected, fascinated really, with each other in the first weeks of therelationship but as years pass we build familiarity (which is a good thing) and our curiosity wanes.We get out of practice staying curiously engaged. Asking strong follow up questions is one place to start that shift.

True reliability is built not only by following through, but by following through more than once on promises. Which is why it takes time to build trust. We need to see changed behavior in the person who harms us more than once.

To grow your ability to cultivate intimacy with others, begin by growing your intimacywith yourself.

Then the more reliable and consistent we are in our follow through on commitments, and ourrelationship repair work the deeper trust grows.

Direct, honest, straightforward communication is kind. Sidestepping the truth doesn’t serve anyone involved.

It's not possible to have trust without boundaries. But for most of us, boundaries are a real mystery.Without clear boundaries, it’s not possible to build trust with others- or to earn trust from others.

While many of us struggle with taking too much ownership over things that are not ours, there’salways a truth that both parties contribute to every conflict.Sometimes your part might be as simple as not speaking up or not staying curious; other times it might be a bigger issue, like a tendency to blame or shout, a lack of accountability, an inability to respect boundaries or projecting insecurities.

One of the clearest paths to building strong and healthy relationships is practicing mutualcompassionate accountability.

Empathy means giving compassionate attention to another by either silently or verbally reflecting their feelings and needs. There’s no need to fix or take care of the other person’s experience, only to offer warmth, acceptance and respect for their perspective and experience.

Judgment separates us from the people we want to be close to incredibly quickly. Whether it’s our internal self-judgment that shuts down opportunity for connection or our judgment of others that makes it hard for loved ones to open up to us, judgment is cancer for authenticity inrelationships.